HOW DO YOU COPE WITH HIGH STRESS SITUATIONS?

As much as we all try to avoid high stress situations, inevitably life will occasionally throw some our way; whether to make or break us.  On Sunday, I had what I can only describe as a “prank day” due to the amount of unfortunate events that took place!

This got me thinking about how I handle high stress situations and also what coping strategies, I have picked up, as well as passed down to my daughter.

Firstly, I’ll just provide you with an insight of all the unfortunate events of the day….

  1. After a lovely Father’s Day breakfast on the beach, we returned home to no water.  After 3/4 of us washing off the sand, the water decided to stop flowing in all taps. At first, we figured it was a neighborhood thing but soon discovered this wasn’t the case!

A plumber was called out, who confirmed that the issue was a ‘government’ problem, as there was no flow of water from the main pump/motor. We attempted to call our local government agency who deals with this, known as the “Municipality’ but they referred us to a energy company known as FEWA. I suppose FEWA will be the UK equivalent of Thames Water. Now unfortunately, customer service via telephone isn’t very efficient here so my husband decided to take a drive to the FEWA office. Now due to COVID-19, the office was closed and refused to speak to anyone; it was explained this was an emergency as we have children and I’m pregnant, with no running water. They said we had to email a general customer service address and await a reponse. Let’s just say we received a response to our emergency call/email at 9pm! Luckily, my husband had managed to fix it before this!

2) Having children is wonderful but they can be so very DESTRUCTIVE! My laptop charger broke and therefore I was unable to charge my laptop. On top of the water situation, it was the last thing I needed, as meant I wouldn’t be able to do my online teaching! My husband again had to dash to the computer store to get one part of the charger, when he returned we hoped it would work BUT DIDN’T! We later realised it was a fuse issue, so again he had to go and hunt for a very rare type of fuse.

3) To try and remind ourselves that it was still Father’s Day and not the day from hell, I cooked a lovely meal. Unfortunately, in the middle of cooking oh and attempting to bake a Banana cake, our gas cylinder ran out.

My cake didn’t survive! Ahah!

4) Although not major, as it still works; I managed to completely mash the back of my year old iPhone.

I mean in hindsight, all of the above are superficial and can be fixed but when in the situation, it is somewhat overwhelming.

I am no psychologist but one thing I do to help with situations like this, is to hang on to any form of positivity I’ve had that day. We actually had a really lovely morning, with the Father’s Day breakfast on the beach and I just kept reminiscing of that morning.

Another thing, we have learnt to do in our household is LAUGH! My husband makes it his duty to ensure that when I’m stressed, I crack at least a little smile or laugh.

With this third pregnancy, I have decided to explore the natural method of ‘Hypnobirthing’ and I’m hoping that some of the methods such as breathing and meditation, I’ll be able to apply beyond labour.

A final way, I often deal with high stress is to accept that it’s not going well but remember it won’t last forever; music also really helps to calm me and especially gospel music.

What are your strategies for dealing with high stress situations?

How are you?

Today I felt like writing…mainly because I realized that I had neglected my blog for far too long and also because today was a ‘down day’. I mean quite frankly I really don’t know how to summarize 2020 so far…”insert caption here_________________” but its been overwhelming!

The last few weeks in particular, I have just found a bit too much! Writing has always been one of my sources of relief and unfortunately, I often forget that when I’m going through the rough.

HOW ARE YOU?

Since I lasted posted in January, I have been through what many of us have experienced the ‘coronacoaster’ of emotions! I spoke with my mum today (always helps) and she reminded me that globally we are all going through the same thing; the feeling of frustration, confusion, sadness, agitation, loneliness, happiness, reflectiveness etc. Our world has been through one of the most traumatic times in history, in that it has completely changed the normal of the world. However, I don’t see these times, as all sad and gloom; in fact there are so many positives that have come out of this (for me personally).

  1. We are expecting baby number 3 in October, although technically baby was conceived pre-lockdown.
  2. I have been able to spend more time with my children; learning new ways to learn and play with them.
  3. I re-launched my business and in the process of making it international.
  4. Fallen in love with my passion of content creation all over again!

HOW ARE YOU?

I am in the process of rebranding myself and reviewing again my vision for all elements of my content creation. I will always stay true to “speaking from the heart” but perhaps more with a purpose and end goal…who knows but I shall be sure to keep you all posted!

Let me know how you are? I’m always here to listen, talk and lend advice where I can!

Signing out for now.

K Vinnice x

My 2019 blog…

Firstly,

CONGRATULATIONS!! You made it! Final year of the decade…wowza!

I’ll try and keep this one to under 5 minutes reading time, as I know everyone is busy. I am currently laying in my hotel bed in Dublin writing this post; in all honesty, I wasn’t going to but I have had several prompts.

I made a conscious decision this year to get more active with my blogs and use it as a platform to generate a range of discussions, help others and hopefully inspire somehow. My lack of consistency has been evident but I’m so blessed and thankful, to know that there are many of you (I’ve been told) who actively read, enjoy and feel inspired by my blogs. Thank you!!

The thought of giving it all up has crossed my mind a few times but I know that negative thinking and a lack of self confidence is my enemy of progress!

Truthfully, I’ve had a lot of amazing things happen this year; promotion at work, birth of my son, my daughter’s birthday, attended some great events, met some amazing people…amongst many others. Yet despite this, I have spent a lot of this year comparing myself and my life to others; holding on to guilt, hoping to re-establish unfruitful relationships, craving attention from those who just don’t deserve it etc.

Sorry to my husband, children, family, friends and followers as I haven’t been wholesome with you this decade. I’ve allowed my negative mindset to overshadow so many amazing things this year; I’ve been ungrateful; unfruitful.

I’ve always believed that the start to change begins with your mindset. So this decade, I endeavour to focus more on what I do have!

LOVE MORE, LIVE MORE AND GROW!

I won’t write out a list of resolutions but will promise to always remember my journey; remember that I’m special, blessed, loved and in a position to help others!

I endeavour to continue, to strive, to inspire and once again thank you ALL (those who love and hate it) for following me this year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!  See you in the next decade you beautiful soul!

Much love!

K Vinnice x

Did ‘church’ put me off church?

I’ve been contemplating whether or not to write this post but thought if I didn’t then I wouldn’t be staying true to my style of writing; “truthful matters of the heart.”

There are a few things that provoked me to write this post:

1) I recently caught wind of the Spac Nation story and decided to do a bit of research; I soon discovered that the basis of the rumours and speculation, is that this particular religious establishment has been labelled a cult…something I have heard before!

2) I haven’t been to church in quite some time and have been considering rejoining one.

3) Self-reflection and ‘soul searching.’ In my opinion, it is important to regularly reflect on your experiences and past.

So I can’t really pinpoint one particular reason why I stopped attending church; there are to be honest, several factors. The main factor being my move to Dubai. I wasn’t sure if there were any ‘decent’ churches to attend here, before I moved over so never really bothered to look. I did attend a service once but I just couldn’t familiarise myself with their style of worship etc.

There are some days when I do long to go back to church but then other times, I think about some of the hurt and hardships that people close to me and also in some respects myself, have endured and received at the hand of the ‘church.’

Going to church every Sunday was a habitual act and really was the foundation of my upbringing and childhood. I enjoyed belonging to a community of god-fearing, beautiful and in most respects like minded individuals. I loved the events that we had, the fellowship, the singing/dancing…it was all wonderful!

Now I am by no means knocking the church but there were flaws…like most things I suppose.

When I left my church, I felt lost. My expectations of what ‘church’ should be had been so wired, that I really found it difficult to feel like I belonged to anywhere else! It is a shame, as I feel guilty at times for not giving my daughter the same experience that I once had. Who knows, maybe one day I will find another church that I feel ‘comfortable’ in or perhaps I need to rewire my thinking???

Either way, my belief and love in God remains at the root of my morals, ethics, values and the foundation for the way I strive to live my life.

For I do believe – that I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me! 🧡🙌🏾

Why I really left London…

Hey again!

I feel like I’ve neglected my writing since we started our family YouTube channel. If you haven’t yet please do head over to The Travelling Roses and check out some of our recent vlogs. We are still in the beginning stages and would appreciate as much feedback as possible.

Many of you will be aware that I made the massive decision two years ago (almost to the day) to up and leave; I left behind my comfort, my familiarity, my job, my home, my car, my friends, my family and my now husband! It wasn’t an easy decision to make and there were many factors that influenced my decision.

I have always been one for adventure and travelling, I blame my parents as they grew us up on ample family holidays and trips! I, in fact use to spend my whole summer holidays in Jamaica…I guess you could say I caught the travelling bug from a young age. This yearning for adventure and in some sense escape, continued throughout the years; I went to college outside of my borough and university outside of my city. Therefore, I suppose the next logical step was to venture outside of my country and that is exactly what I did!

I could write on here about wanting to teach abroad to inspire young people internationally and yes although that is true that is only the partial reason why I left. London has always been my home, having been raised and lived in London for over 20 years (I was actually born in Kent). But London, also created a lot of wounds and scars…There were things that I had experienced, lived, witnessed in London that if I’m honest haunted me! One of my biggest living nightmares was MONEY…well actually DEBT!


When I first started university in 2009 and moved to Bristol, never did I imagine or truly process, that I would be leaving three years later with over £10k debt over my head! On top of that, I had not banked on having a child either and being a single mum. I really struggled to make ends meet in Bristol, as I had to move into private housing and was obviously still on a student wage. I did seek to find part time work and ended up doing a stint in Greggs bakery whilst 7 months pregnant! Perhaps that is why my daughter loves Greggs so much…HAHA! Trying to juggle rent, bills, nursery fees, transport whilst being a student was TOUGH! I was receiving some support from the state but due to me being a full time student it was limited. Things didn’t really get any easier for me there; I ended up falling behind on rent and was threatened by the estate agents to be evicted. I actually recall a time when I was pregnant and travelled back from London to Bristol, I had I think £5 to my name and was in desperate need of ’emergency cash.’ I ended up going to a location in the centre of Bristol where they distributed £50 emergency state cash for those vulnerable people in need. Fast forward…by the Grace of God and with the help from my family, I managed to complete university and myself and daughter did not get evicted from my house! Love then brought me back to London…

Moving back to London from Bristol was going to be my fresh start! I decided to move to Bromley, as I wanted the better schooling options for Arianna. I was very blessed in being able to acquire a really lovely two floor flat, in a very nice area for a reasonable price too! For those of you who have private rented in London, you will understand how ridiculously EXPENSIVE it is! I was advised upon moving back to London, that I would be able to get myself on the housing list, as I had managed to do so in Bristol. That information was FALSE! Bromley council refused to house me, as I was in suitable accommodation (2 bedroom) despite NOT being able to afford it! At the time of moving back to London, I was working as an office runner for a Film Production company and I recall I was on a minuscule wage bringing home under £800 a month. God graced me and I changed employment and began working as a Teaching Assistant. Although not great, my wage was better but I was still struggling to make ends meet. Long story short, this cycle of debt was continuous for about 2 years. In that space of time, I had again fallen behind on rent and therefore had to set up a repayment plan with my landlord.

Repaying debts whilst still paying bills, rent etc meant NO SOCIAL LIFE… in fact NO LIFE! I found myself really struggling to LIVE! I would go to work, pay my bills and never have enough out of my own pocket for days out with Arianna, regular nights out with the girlies, to save and definitely no disposable income for the travelling bug I had inherited. What I was able to do, was really at the expense of others! This was not how I wanted to live my life.

The final straw, was having to sleep on a very uncomfortable mattress (with the springs digging into my skin) on my daughter’s bedroom floor, whilst a complete stranger rented out my bedroom for a low cost amount. I really could write a book about my life…

I had to make a decision…did I want to continue living in debt, stress, anxiety and living to pay things off.  Or did I want to give my daughter and myself, a life truly worth living. The latter was my preferred option and one I leaped at when the opportunity was presented!

Was it easy?

Hell no.

Was it worth it?

Definitely yes!


I am now in a position where I have paid off 80% of my debt whilst still being able to enjoy the finer things in life! If like me, you are really struggling with debt there are a wealth of organisations and charities in London that can provide support! Please do speak out and seek help (something I struggled to do) as no-one should suffer in silence. My anxiety at one point was so bad that I hated watching the program “Don’t pay we’ll take it away” with the fear that I may end up being featured on there! BUT, you can get out of it!

Here are some of my top tips:

  1. Do an income and expenditure spreadsheet – this will help you identify your cash flow.
  2. Think about things you could cut back on.
  3. Set up realistic payment plans with companies and debt collectors.
  4. Shop around for groceries and clothes.
  5. Use the cash for clothes outlets or similar.
  6. Charitiy shops are great!
  7. Plan your meals for the week.
  8. Join Facebook groups like Mummy’s Gin Fund – for days out recommendations.
  9. Take advantage of parks and free spaces.
  10. Reach out to organisations and charities for expert advice. – See here.
  11. Speak to your family and friends.
  12. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SAY NO! – You don’t have to attend everything!

I hope that somehow this post will help someone who is going through what I experienced. If there are any tips that you could also share then please feel free to comment on this post or to message me on Instagram and I can share them publicly.

Thank you for taking the time to read.

Kym x

 

The VERY truthful matters of my heart!

I have a story to tell you and I promise I’ll try not to take up too much of your time!

Firstly, I really have missed blogging! The last three weeks have been a whirlwind; crazy work deadlines, unmeasurable stress, feeling blue, entertaining, hurting, packing and moving!!! I’ve felt as though I haven’t stopped to breathe over the last three weeks!

Today for the first time, I’ve taken half a breath and stopped for a very short moment. Now I don’t just mean physically but mentally! Ive experienced all types of emotions the last few weeks including guilt for not interacting on my socials or sharing what’s going on. I realised that I shouldn’t feel guilty for not always being present as that is reality!

I mentioned above that I’ve been hurting the last few weeks and it’s been like NEVER before so here it goes…

As you all know my family especially my hubby and children are my world; I would fight at all costs to ensure they are happy and safe! This week my not even 5 month old son received a racist comment and honestly I lost faith in humanity!

How can the world be so cruel?

An innocent child shouldn’t have to fall victim of this!

The reality is, it is the world that we unfortunately live in!

It did REALLY hurt me and took a while for me to comprehend what had happened. Having confided in a few people, I was able to process what I could do as a parent to help my children survive in what is an unjust and unfortunate world!

I vow to equip them with the skills to be resilient, educated, loving, WOKE, inspiring, the understanding that they are KINGS AND QUEENS amongst many other things!

My drive has been risen by 1000 from something that almost destroyed my strength!

I’m not really sure where this post is going except I just want to say, if you’re going through something or have been hurt recently then turn that pain into a lesson of strength! The strength to endure, understand, develop and progress!

Although the world in many ways is negative, cruel and unjust there are glimmers of hope and light in individuals and experiences! Over the next few weeks, I will be sharing my vision for my blogs with you all and hope that you benefit from my willingness to be open!

Thank you for reading the truthful matters of my heart!

Kym x

Stella’s got her groove back!

Recently, I read an Instagram post from the beauty that is Maya Jama and it felt like she literally took the words from my mouth!

In a nutshell, she spoke about the perception of ‘beauty’ and touched upon something I experienced only a few days ago…

How many of you have got to the point where your hair, nails or something else needs redoing and it has a MASSIVE impact on your self confidence and mood? I mean you just feel ugly and not standard ugly but U-G-L-Y. Well this happens to me every time! No matter how much makeup I put on, or how dressed up I get, if my hair is not done then sometimes I even refuse to go out!

Now I don’t know if this is a ‘thing’ but I really have had to teach myself (with the support from close family and friends) that looks are not everything. Having once been a model, I do try and keep up appearances but the reality of being a working mummy of two means it doesn’t always happen, to the standard I’d like! Lol!

I can’t afford to get the latest skincare phenomenon or get weekly facials etc, so I just have to make do with what I have but more importantly accept that beauty isn’t just about appearance. You can be a beautiful but ugly person!

I really want my daughter in particular to understand that no one should define her by her looks but more her aura, confidence, intelligence, influence etc

Your looks really DON’T define who you are!

Unconventional and LOVING it!

It is now 2018 and firstly I would like to say a Happy and Prospeous New Year to all those who are reading this!

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Now there are several purposes to this blog post, the first being (like many of my others) to inspire family, friends, strangers and foes. Oh, I also need to apologise as I haven’t been as consistent with the blog writing, as I would have hoped!

My second purpose of this post is to demonstrate how stepping out of comfort zones and the norm can be so fulfilling and quite frankly fun!

Thirdly, this post will hopefully answer some of the unasked questions that we know both family and friends may have…

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So where do I begin: well for those who don’t know Daniel and I have known each other for almost 7 years now, of which during this time, a lot of our relationship was on and off like a light switch! Lol. In August 2017, myself and my daughter moved to the UAE, where I started a new job; subsequently, despite Dan and I not talking at the start of 2017, it ended up being our best ever year together! So advice point 1, not everything is instantaneous some things require a journey of maturity and development and I can certainly say, that was the case for our relationship. We spent a total of 12 weeks apart, which for some experienced long distance relationshipers may seem trivial but for us, it was major! Especially, as we had both realised that we were inseparable and despite the low points previously, did not want to do life without each other.

Advice point 2: communication. When I initially found out about the job, I shared everything with Dan and we spoke about the future and my decision to go etc. Dan understood that this was a lifelong dream for me but also it was about laying foundations for our family; I struggled with my decision as I didn’t want to mess up what we had but also didn’t want to turn the job down and live a life of regret and resentment. It was at this point that Dan started actively considering and making plans to leave the UK and move to the UAE with us! Now readers, if you know my husband you will understand that the love is real. My husband and his large family are very close and he isn’t as adventurous as me, so for him to say and action that he’s coming- sealed the deal!

Moving the story along, we had always discussed marriage and I would share with him my wish to be married before having any more children, as marriage and its meaning means a lot to me. *Disclosure* I am NOT pregnant yet! Lol. Initially, Dan didn’t share the same enthusiasm for marriage and didn’t see it as a priority like I did. It was in November, that in the midst of one of our regular skype video calls, we again stumbled upon the topic of marriage…it was different this time though, as Dan was more enthusiastic and open to the idea. We began to discuss when we’d get married, where we’d get married, amongst other things. Jointly, by the end of the Skype call, a decision was made that we would get married in London during my Christmas visit (18 days); we then later concluded that we wouldn’t have enough time or money to have the wedding we’d both want in December so decided that we’d have a ceremony, with our close family in a local registry office and then the full wedding in Summer 2018. Neither of us, felt that we wanted to wait to have everything in the summer: for legal reasons, moral reasons but more importantly, we just wanted to be husband and wife immediately. We were both truly and deeply ready to take the final step of commitment to one another.

Advice point 3: have faith. Both excited with the plans and decisions that we’d made, we started to enquire about the possibility of a registry office marriage during December in London. We hit a brick wall. With all the legalities, time frames and notice periods, a marriage in London was impossible; we even consulted the British Embassy in the UAE, who were unable to help us. It was at this point that I started to get really down but as usual, Dan kept reassuring me that it would all work out. I would like to thank my three RAK ladies (you know who you are) who implanted the seed of ‘Gretna Green.’ I was quite apprehensive about what my parents would think about a Gretna Green marriage but I put my fears to the side and we started the process (in the end they loved the idea). By the beginning of December, it was confirmed that we would be married on the 30th December 2017 at Gretna Green Registry office in Scotland.

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Now what was meant to be a basic intimate ceremony, turned out to be an intimate but unconventional wedding road trip! We travelled 7 hours by coach to Scotland on the 29th December, stayed in a beautiful castle overnight and on the 30th said our vows and were pronounced husband and wife! I missed a bit from the story, so will go back to the engagement…now in November we both obviously knew that we would be married by December, however because we were apart Dan couldn’t do a physical proposal (which was his desire). So yes, although I knew a proposal would happen in December, I didn’t know exactly when nor had I seen my stunningly beautiful engagement ring! I had however, purchased our wedding rings from Dubai at the beginning of December so we actually had those before the engagement ring.

So time frame: engaged on 24th December 2017 and married on the 30th December 2017. Although, I think for us both, we had been engaged in our souls through love and God’s grace for a while.

The actual wedding (part two) will take place this summer and planning a UK wedding from a different country is definitely something worthy of its own blog post (to follow). Our love story isn’t the norm but we have never tried to be that! What we can say, is our story is real and we have overcome a lot of hurdles, which has made our love for each other stronger every day.

We have been married now for one week and again will be doing long distance for another 2-3 weeks until Dan officially moves over. Believe me when I say true love approved and ordained by God really does win!

Love Mrs Kym Rose x

Our UAE adventure

We have arrived safely in the UAE, as you’ve probably seen.  This is such an exciting adventure and journey for myself and Arianna, which we so want to share with those who take the time to read.  We hope that from our adventure you will feel empowered, inspired, encouraged and determined to seek out and fulfil your own dreams and ambitions.img_6369

Please feel free to leave your comments, questions and of course share with all!

 Kym & Arianna

and welcome to the beginning!

It’s our 5th day in Ras Al Khaimah, although time and days all seem to be blended at the moment! It feels like we have been here much longer!

We arrived early hours on Sunday morning having experienced great hospitality and a lovely flight from Emirates airline. The immigration and baggage collection went smoothly and the air conditioning disguised the scorching 42 degree heat outside. As we arrived in the arrivals hall, we were pleasantly greeted by members from my new school; they immediately took us to set up our UAE number at one of the local Etisalat stands. It’s at this point that the realisation of migrating to a new country and setting up from scratch truly kicked it! New number, emirates card, residency visa…wait a minute this isn’t a temporary holiday but a permanent move! Emirates polaroid

We were taken to our new apartment which was huge! Immediately, Arianna began unpacking her toys and making herself at home. We are privileged enough or for me tempted by one of the many malls, across the road from our building. After an hour or so, we were collected by a lovely couple (from the school) who took us over to buy some essentials bits and bobs and an unofficial meet up. It didn’t take long before the “Mummy I’m bored” ran through my ears; luckily for me the UAE malls are packed with endless amounts of entertainment for children! We managed to navigate our way around the supermarket aisles, recognising many brands and purchasing ingredients for a first meal. P.s. My cooker and fridge are huge!

Later that evening, a very tired mummy and daughter fell asleep whilst waiting for our amazing family who had flown in the night before, to arrive into RAK. I am very thankful for the powerful AC in my apartment which stopped us from melting! After the arrival of my family at 9.30pm we decided to have a late night shopping/ eating session in RAK mall (closes at midnight) to purchase more bits for the apartment. MATALAN! The runs across the road by now were becoming familiar; the driving and road etiquette is very different from the UK…

By day 2, our TV and WIFI had been ordered and awaiting delivery/installation. THANK GOD! I hadn’t realised how much we relied on internet and how alien it is living without it! I suppose with all of this, setting up from scratch was a bigger task than I expected!

However, 5 days in and our house is looking a lot more like home! We have visited the area of Al Hamra (which is very plush) and have our first excursion booked for this weekend. I’ve had 2 days in school, going through some logistics, however after the Eid holiday our first full week of induction will begin.

img_6376img_6365Arianna and I have already made some lovely friends and the entire newbie crew and welcoming committee have been fab!

Signing out for now lovelies but will have my next blog post up very soon!

Kym & Arianna xx

 

 

p.s. This evening we found a bat on my balcony, evidence below…

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