HOW DO YOU COPE WITH HIGH STRESS SITUATIONS?

As much as we all try to avoid high stress situations, inevitably life will occasionally throw some our way; whether to make or break us.  On Sunday, I had what I can only describe as a “prank day” due to the amount of unfortunate events that took place!

This got me thinking about how I handle high stress situations and also what coping strategies, I have picked up, as well as passed down to my daughter.

Firstly, I’ll just provide you with an insight of all the unfortunate events of the day….

  1. After a lovely Father’s Day breakfast on the beach, we returned home to no water.  After 3/4 of us washing off the sand, the water decided to stop flowing in all taps. At first, we figured it was a neighborhood thing but soon discovered this wasn’t the case!

A plumber was called out, who confirmed that the issue was a ‘government’ problem, as there was no flow of water from the main pump/motor. We attempted to call our local government agency who deals with this, known as the “Municipality’ but they referred us to a energy company known as FEWA. I suppose FEWA will be the UK equivalent of Thames Water. Now unfortunately, customer service via telephone isn’t very efficient here so my husband decided to take a drive to the FEWA office. Now due to COVID-19, the office was closed and refused to speak to anyone; it was explained this was an emergency as we have children and I’m pregnant, with no running water. They said we had to email a general customer service address and await a reponse. Let’s just say we received a response to our emergency call/email at 9pm! Luckily, my husband had managed to fix it before this!

2) Having children is wonderful but they can be so very DESTRUCTIVE! My laptop charger broke and therefore I was unable to charge my laptop. On top of the water situation, it was the last thing I needed, as meant I wouldn’t be able to do my online teaching! My husband again had to dash to the computer store to get one part of the charger, when he returned we hoped it would work BUT DIDN’T! We later realised it was a fuse issue, so again he had to go and hunt for a very rare type of fuse.

3) To try and remind ourselves that it was still Father’s Day and not the day from hell, I cooked a lovely meal. Unfortunately, in the middle of cooking oh and attempting to bake a Banana cake, our gas cylinder ran out.

My cake didn’t survive! Ahah!

4) Although not major, as it still works; I managed to completely mash the back of my year old iPhone.

I mean in hindsight, all of the above are superficial and can be fixed but when in the situation, it is somewhat overwhelming.

I am no psychologist but one thing I do to help with situations like this, is to hang on to any form of positivity I’ve had that day. We actually had a really lovely morning, with the Father’s Day breakfast on the beach and I just kept reminiscing of that morning.

Another thing, we have learnt to do in our household is LAUGH! My husband makes it his duty to ensure that when I’m stressed, I crack at least a little smile or laugh.

With this third pregnancy, I have decided to explore the natural method of ‘Hypnobirthing’ and I’m hoping that some of the methods such as breathing and meditation, I’ll be able to apply beyond labour.

A final way, I often deal with high stress is to accept that it’s not going well but remember it won’t last forever; music also really helps to calm me and especially gospel music.

What are your strategies for dealing with high stress situations?

Why we’re sending Jaxson to nursery!

Hey lovelies,

I can’t believe the first month of 2020 is almost over! Time seriously needs to slow down…

So as suggested by the title I wanted to talk about childcare options and in particular the ‘nursery vs stay at home’ debate. Jaxson is starting his new nursery tomorrow and will be attending 3 days a week!! EEEEEKKK. He is exactly 11 months and two weeks old, and has been at home for the duration of this time. Due to the limited amount of maternity leave here in the UAE, I went back to work when JJ was around 3 1/2 months. We were so very blessed that we had family who cared for him for the next month and a half. When JJ was just under 5 months, we hired a nanny to stay at home with him full time.

Our decision to opt for a nanny was mainly due to the uncertainty around the quality of care provided for babies here in the UAE; we both decided that we would send him to nursery when he was a little bit older, more independent and stronger (in terms of his immune system etc.)

I am not exaggerating here, when I say that our nanny is a SUPER NANNY! She really does love and care for JJ like her own and I felt so reassured leaving him at such a young age. I think I also found leaving him that bit easier, as my daughter started at her nursery, at only 3 months. Repeated story, but I had to go back to university and living in Bristol away from family, I had no other choice; nannies were far too expensive! Again, I was so blessed that the manager and key worker at Arianna’s nursery were so so lovely and honestly I still remember them, 9 years on!

Ok, so back to 2020…initially we had said we would send JJ to nursery once he was walking but over the last couple of months, I’ve really seen him develop at honestly such a rapid rate! I just felt that although loving, a great chef, an amazing housekeeper; our nanny just wasn’t able to provide the stimulation that he needs. No fault of her own but she was more like an Aunty, as opposed to a childcare practitioner. I had introduced the concept of sensory play etc to her but I think that culturally she just didn’t quite get it! The other issue here in RAK specifically, is that there is a massive void of playgroups/ meet ups and so I felt there was very rarely anything that my nanny could actually take him to. Plus to be honest, I kind of feel like that’s something I should be doing!

In my opinion, it is so important for children to socialize with other children within their age groups. Although, Jaxson has Arianna, I didn’t want him to miss out on the opportunity to play, engage and learn from kids his age. I think also giving him a new environment to explore and structured activities will really help with his stimulation and growth development! That being said, we have only put him in for 3 days a week initially and will probably review within the next 3-6 months. Interestingly, I have some friends who refuse to send their children to any form of nursery etc and instead do it all themselves at home. Another one of my friends who is a KG teacher, told me that in primary schools here, they have some children who at the age of 4 have only ever been at home with nannies/ parents! Now honestly, I can’t say I agree with that as mentioned before, socialization is so imperative for child development! I think that is also another reason why I probably would not home-school Arianna…that’s a whole other topic!

So let me know guys, are you a send them to nursery parent or keep them at home?  I think if I’m ever in the position to be able to stay at home and there is a wealth of playgroup/ meet up opportunities available, then I would definitely consider staying at home for longer with my children.

I think the key thing is though, every child is different and as a parent you have got to trust your gut in decisions like this! Either way, as long as the child is happy, that’s all that matters right!?

K Vinnice
x

My 2019 blog…

Firstly,

CONGRATULATIONS!! You made it! Final year of the decade…wowza!

I’ll try and keep this one to under 5 minutes reading time, as I know everyone is busy. I am currently laying in my hotel bed in Dublin writing this post; in all honesty, I wasn’t going to but I have had several prompts.

I made a conscious decision this year to get more active with my blogs and use it as a platform to generate a range of discussions, help others and hopefully inspire somehow. My lack of consistency has been evident but I’m so blessed and thankful, to know that there are many of you (I’ve been told) who actively read, enjoy and feel inspired by my blogs. Thank you!!

The thought of giving it all up has crossed my mind a few times but I know that negative thinking and a lack of self confidence is my enemy of progress!

Truthfully, I’ve had a lot of amazing things happen this year; promotion at work, birth of my son, my daughter’s birthday, attended some great events, met some amazing people…amongst many others. Yet despite this, I have spent a lot of this year comparing myself and my life to others; holding on to guilt, hoping to re-establish unfruitful relationships, craving attention from those who just don’t deserve it etc.

Sorry to my husband, children, family, friends and followers as I haven’t been wholesome with you this decade. I’ve allowed my negative mindset to overshadow so many amazing things this year; I’ve been ungrateful; unfruitful.

I’ve always believed that the start to change begins with your mindset. So this decade, I endeavour to focus more on what I do have!

LOVE MORE, LIVE MORE AND GROW!

I won’t write out a list of resolutions but will promise to always remember my journey; remember that I’m special, blessed, loved and in a position to help others!

I endeavour to continue, to strive, to inspire and once again thank you ALL (those who love and hate it) for following me this year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!  See you in the next decade you beautiful soul!

Much love!

K Vinnice x

Did ‘church’ put me off church?

I’ve been contemplating whether or not to write this post but thought if I didn’t then I wouldn’t be staying true to my style of writing; “truthful matters of the heart.”

There are a few things that provoked me to write this post:

1) I recently caught wind of the Spac Nation story and decided to do a bit of research; I soon discovered that the basis of the rumours and speculation, is that this particular religious establishment has been labelled a cult…something I have heard before!

2) I haven’t been to church in quite some time and have been considering rejoining one.

3) Self-reflection and ‘soul searching.’ In my opinion, it is important to regularly reflect on your experiences and past.

So I can’t really pinpoint one particular reason why I stopped attending church; there are to be honest, several factors. The main factor being my move to Dubai. I wasn’t sure if there were any ‘decent’ churches to attend here, before I moved over so never really bothered to look. I did attend a service once but I just couldn’t familiarise myself with their style of worship etc.

There are some days when I do long to go back to church but then other times, I think about some of the hurt and hardships that people close to me and also in some respects myself, have endured and received at the hand of the ‘church.’

Going to church every Sunday was a habitual act and really was the foundation of my upbringing and childhood. I enjoyed belonging to a community of god-fearing, beautiful and in most respects like minded individuals. I loved the events that we had, the fellowship, the singing/dancing…it was all wonderful!

Now I am by no means knocking the church but there were flaws…like most things I suppose.

When I left my church, I felt lost. My expectations of what ‘church’ should be had been so wired, that I really found it difficult to feel like I belonged to anywhere else! It is a shame, as I feel guilty at times for not giving my daughter the same experience that I once had. Who knows, maybe one day I will find another church that I feel ‘comfortable’ in or perhaps I need to rewire my thinking???

Either way, my belief and love in God remains at the root of my morals, ethics, values and the foundation for the way I strive to live my life.

For I do believe – that I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me! 🧡🙌🏾

A juggling act!

Hey lovelies,

Hope you’ve all had a good week. To sum up my last few weeks…I have felt like I’m in a circus act! Going back to full time teaching with two children has been a whole new phenomenon for me.

Did I stick to my routines these last few weeks! Hell NO! Most the time, I feel absolutely exhausted and have no energy to cook, clean but just enough to play. Having spoken to my friend who also is a teacher and has a baby, it is a shared state of existence!

As you can see from the last blog post date I have been swamped! Sometimes I think about giving it up (blogging) but now and then I receive a lovely message from a reader commenting on one of my experiences. It makes it all worthwhile!

Can I just be honest for a moment and say that I am struggling to practice what I preach though. What I mean by that is, I’ve neglected my own self care!

It can be so hard when you’re exhausted and just ridiculously busy to “factor in” me time. The error that I’ve made with this approach is that ‘me time’ should be as natural as brushing my teeth or having dinner.

Why is it that we view looking after ourselves as a chore or additional task?

I would never neglect my children or husband so why should it be acceptable for me to neglect myself?!

It is not a necessity to always do elaborate things and sometimes self care can be as simple as making a cup of tea and leaving the dishes until later! It’s something that I really have to adjust my mindset to.

Truly what use am I as a mother, wife, friend or teacher…if I don’t care for me!

I would love to start some kind of self care community; like-minded people who want to make each other accountable for their own wellbeing.

Not sure if that’s something you’d be interested in but if you are then please reach out to me! I really would love to hear from you!! 🧡

Kym x

London Chronicles Part 1

Hey lovelies!

So I am very excited to say that the Rose family have arrived safely in London Town! We arrived early Saturday morning having completed an indirect flight with Gulf Air. I remember saying years ago that I would never do a stop over with my children but having done it a few times, it’s perfectly fine! My advice to those considering it, would be to pick your stop over location (where applicable) and time wisely, also pack light as most airports will restrict trolley use!

Anyways…the next few posts will be about all the stuff we get up to during our time here in London. If you don’t follow me on Instagram (shame on you) you may not know that we are actually here for 4 weeks! It is our chance to catch up with family and friends and of course to introduce baby Jaxson to our home town!

I’m not sure if it’s the same in your families but in mine, the birthdays come in clusters! We kicked off our London chronicles by celebrating my beautiful mummies birthday and fun was had by all! I would personally recommend Smith and Wollensky who not only accommodated us being over an hour late but served the most amazing food, with the most amazing grace and charisma! As usual, my family closed the restaurant…

I’ll be setting to work on Baby Jaxson’s christening this week too and will update you about that in a separate blog. During my time here, I really want to get to as many parenting groups and networking events as possible so do let me know if you have any recommendations. I of course want to meet up with EVERYONE as well! 🙂

One final thing, we have also started baby weaning full time!! I’m very interested in the baby led weaning method; if anyone has any recommendations for recipes or success stories then please do share!

Now that I am off work and have a bit more time on my hands. I’ll try and post/share more regularly…I also have some exciting news pending!

Kym x

 

The VERY truthful matters of my heart!

I have a story to tell you and I promise I’ll try not to take up too much of your time!

Firstly, I really have missed blogging! The last three weeks have been a whirlwind; crazy work deadlines, unmeasurable stress, feeling blue, entertaining, hurting, packing and moving!!! I’ve felt as though I haven’t stopped to breathe over the last three weeks!

Today for the first time, I’ve taken half a breath and stopped for a very short moment. Now I don’t just mean physically but mentally! Ive experienced all types of emotions the last few weeks including guilt for not interacting on my socials or sharing what’s going on. I realised that I shouldn’t feel guilty for not always being present as that is reality!

I mentioned above that I’ve been hurting the last few weeks and it’s been like NEVER before so here it goes…

As you all know my family especially my hubby and children are my world; I would fight at all costs to ensure they are happy and safe! This week my not even 5 month old son received a racist comment and honestly I lost faith in humanity!

How can the world be so cruel?

An innocent child shouldn’t have to fall victim of this!

The reality is, it is the world that we unfortunately live in!

It did REALLY hurt me and took a while for me to comprehend what had happened. Having confided in a few people, I was able to process what I could do as a parent to help my children survive in what is an unjust and unfortunate world!

I vow to equip them with the skills to be resilient, educated, loving, WOKE, inspiring, the understanding that they are KINGS AND QUEENS amongst many other things!

My drive has been risen by 1000 from something that almost destroyed my strength!

I’m not really sure where this post is going except I just want to say, if you’re going through something or have been hurt recently then turn that pain into a lesson of strength! The strength to endure, understand, develop and progress!

Although the world in many ways is negative, cruel and unjust there are glimmers of hope and light in individuals and experiences! Over the next few weeks, I will be sharing my vision for my blogs with you all and hope that you benefit from my willingness to be open!

Thank you for reading the truthful matters of my heart!

Kym x

Stella’s got her groove back!

Recently, I read an Instagram post from the beauty that is Maya Jama and it felt like she literally took the words from my mouth!

In a nutshell, she spoke about the perception of ‘beauty’ and touched upon something I experienced only a few days ago…

How many of you have got to the point where your hair, nails or something else needs redoing and it has a MASSIVE impact on your self confidence and mood? I mean you just feel ugly and not standard ugly but U-G-L-Y. Well this happens to me every time! No matter how much makeup I put on, or how dressed up I get, if my hair is not done then sometimes I even refuse to go out!

Now I don’t know if this is a ‘thing’ but I really have had to teach myself (with the support from close family and friends) that looks are not everything. Having once been a model, I do try and keep up appearances but the reality of being a working mummy of two means it doesn’t always happen, to the standard I’d like! Lol!

I can’t afford to get the latest skincare phenomenon or get weekly facials etc, so I just have to make do with what I have but more importantly accept that beauty isn’t just about appearance. You can be a beautiful but ugly person!

I really want my daughter in particular to understand that no one should define her by her looks but more her aura, confidence, intelligence, influence etc

Your looks really DON’T define who you are!