Redefining Motherhood!

I was inspired to start this action in my life through engaging with the Mums that Slay (Yvadney’s) #dopefriday session.

You see I’m a “mummy/mum” twice over now and soon to be for the third time. I have realised through stepping out of my comfort zone and being DOPE, that there is a lot of conditioning, I have endured over the last almost 10 years of being a mum!

I remember when I first found out I was pregnant with my daughter, I immediately decided that I would no longer engage in certain things I used to. Some of these were of course a necessity to let go off but I assumed that being a mum meant I could no longer have fun or be myself! I changed the way I spoke, dressed, thought about others, interacted with us etc. I became somebody I didn’t recognise…

Now of course, naturally in becoming a parent your priorities change and your focus is different but that doesn’t mean to say, you must put aside things you are passionate about and enjoy! I often hear the saying “your life ends when you have children,” I couldn’t disagree more with this statement! In my opinion, life begins…

It all depends on how you view motherhood and define the role in your life. I have decided to redefine the role of motherhood in my life, as I no longer see it is a restrictive vice but actually an opportunity to allow my personality to flourish.

One of the ways I have done this, is to reconsider what it means to be a “hot mumma” and not to shy away from this. I’ve always loved fashion, expressing myself through it but I shunned this idea when I became a mum. I think it was partly due to a lack of confidence and also the societal pressures of being a ‘young mum.’ However, I have encountered a network of mummies who are as DOPE and HOT as anything; proudly so!

Upon reflection, what kind of role model am I to my children, if I teach them to confine themselves based on the judgements and interpretations of others? Fashion is my passion and expression something I will do freely without any worry or anxiety surrounding judgement by others!

So here’s to more fashion statements and the redefining of motherhood!

HOW DO YOU COPE WITH HIGH STRESS SITUATIONS?

As much as we all try to avoid high stress situations, inevitably life will occasionally throw some our way; whether to make or break us.  On Sunday, I had what I can only describe as a “prank day” due to the amount of unfortunate events that took place!

This got me thinking about how I handle high stress situations and also what coping strategies, I have picked up, as well as passed down to my daughter.

Firstly, I’ll just provide you with an insight of all the unfortunate events of the day….

  1. After a lovely Father’s Day breakfast on the beach, we returned home to no water.  After 3/4 of us washing off the sand, the water decided to stop flowing in all taps. At first, we figured it was a neighborhood thing but soon discovered this wasn’t the case!

A plumber was called out, who confirmed that the issue was a ‘government’ problem, as there was no flow of water from the main pump/motor. We attempted to call our local government agency who deals with this, known as the “Municipality’ but they referred us to a energy company known as FEWA. I suppose FEWA will be the UK equivalent of Thames Water. Now unfortunately, customer service via telephone isn’t very efficient here so my husband decided to take a drive to the FEWA office. Now due to COVID-19, the office was closed and refused to speak to anyone; it was explained this was an emergency as we have children and I’m pregnant, with no running water. They said we had to email a general customer service address and await a reponse. Let’s just say we received a response to our emergency call/email at 9pm! Luckily, my husband had managed to fix it before this!

2) Having children is wonderful but they can be so very DESTRUCTIVE! My laptop charger broke and therefore I was unable to charge my laptop. On top of the water situation, it was the last thing I needed, as meant I wouldn’t be able to do my online teaching! My husband again had to dash to the computer store to get one part of the charger, when he returned we hoped it would work BUT DIDN’T! We later realised it was a fuse issue, so again he had to go and hunt for a very rare type of fuse.

3) To try and remind ourselves that it was still Father’s Day and not the day from hell, I cooked a lovely meal. Unfortunately, in the middle of cooking oh and attempting to bake a Banana cake, our gas cylinder ran out.

My cake didn’t survive! Ahah!

4) Although not major, as it still works; I managed to completely mash the back of my year old iPhone.

I mean in hindsight, all of the above are superficial and can be fixed but when in the situation, it is somewhat overwhelming.

I am no psychologist but one thing I do to help with situations like this, is to hang on to any form of positivity I’ve had that day. We actually had a really lovely morning, with the Father’s Day breakfast on the beach and I just kept reminiscing of that morning.

Another thing, we have learnt to do in our household is LAUGH! My husband makes it his duty to ensure that when I’m stressed, I crack at least a little smile or laugh.

With this third pregnancy, I have decided to explore the natural method of ‘Hypnobirthing’ and I’m hoping that some of the methods such as breathing and meditation, I’ll be able to apply beyond labour.

A final way, I often deal with high stress is to accept that it’s not going well but remember it won’t last forever; music also really helps to calm me and especially gospel music.

What are your strategies for dealing with high stress situations?

How are you?

Today I felt like writing…mainly because I realized that I had neglected my blog for far too long and also because today was a ‘down day’. I mean quite frankly I really don’t know how to summarize 2020 so far…”insert caption here_________________” but its been overwhelming!

The last few weeks in particular, I have just found a bit too much! Writing has always been one of my sources of relief and unfortunately, I often forget that when I’m going through the rough.

HOW ARE YOU?

Since I lasted posted in January, I have been through what many of us have experienced the ‘coronacoaster’ of emotions! I spoke with my mum today (always helps) and she reminded me that globally we are all going through the same thing; the feeling of frustration, confusion, sadness, agitation, loneliness, happiness, reflectiveness etc. Our world has been through one of the most traumatic times in history, in that it has completely changed the normal of the world. However, I don’t see these times, as all sad and gloom; in fact there are so many positives that have come out of this (for me personally).

  1. We are expecting baby number 3 in October, although technically baby was conceived pre-lockdown.
  2. I have been able to spend more time with my children; learning new ways to learn and play with them.
  3. I re-launched my business and in the process of making it international.
  4. Fallen in love with my passion of content creation all over again!

HOW ARE YOU?

I am in the process of rebranding myself and reviewing again my vision for all elements of my content creation. I will always stay true to “speaking from the heart” but perhaps more with a purpose and end goal…who knows but I shall be sure to keep you all posted!

Let me know how you are? I’m always here to listen, talk and lend advice where I can!

Signing out for now.

K Vinnice x

My 2019 blog…

Firstly,

CONGRATULATIONS!! You made it! Final year of the decade…wowza!

I’ll try and keep this one to under 5 minutes reading time, as I know everyone is busy. I am currently laying in my hotel bed in Dublin writing this post; in all honesty, I wasn’t going to but I have had several prompts.

I made a conscious decision this year to get more active with my blogs and use it as a platform to generate a range of discussions, help others and hopefully inspire somehow. My lack of consistency has been evident but I’m so blessed and thankful, to know that there are many of you (I’ve been told) who actively read, enjoy and feel inspired by my blogs. Thank you!!

The thought of giving it all up has crossed my mind a few times but I know that negative thinking and a lack of self confidence is my enemy of progress!

Truthfully, I’ve had a lot of amazing things happen this year; promotion at work, birth of my son, my daughter’s birthday, attended some great events, met some amazing people…amongst many others. Yet despite this, I have spent a lot of this year comparing myself and my life to others; holding on to guilt, hoping to re-establish unfruitful relationships, craving attention from those who just don’t deserve it etc.

Sorry to my husband, children, family, friends and followers as I haven’t been wholesome with you this decade. I’ve allowed my negative mindset to overshadow so many amazing things this year; I’ve been ungrateful; unfruitful.

I’ve always believed that the start to change begins with your mindset. So this decade, I endeavour to focus more on what I do have!

LOVE MORE, LIVE MORE AND GROW!

I won’t write out a list of resolutions but will promise to always remember my journey; remember that I’m special, blessed, loved and in a position to help others!

I endeavour to continue, to strive, to inspire and once again thank you ALL (those who love and hate it) for following me this year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!  See you in the next decade you beautiful soul!

Much love!

K Vinnice x

Did ‘church’ put me off church?

I’ve been contemplating whether or not to write this post but thought if I didn’t then I wouldn’t be staying true to my style of writing; “truthful matters of the heart.”

There are a few things that provoked me to write this post:

1) I recently caught wind of the Spac Nation story and decided to do a bit of research; I soon discovered that the basis of the rumours and speculation, is that this particular religious establishment has been labelled a cult…something I have heard before!

2) I haven’t been to church in quite some time and have been considering rejoining one.

3) Self-reflection and ‘soul searching.’ In my opinion, it is important to regularly reflect on your experiences and past.

So I can’t really pinpoint one particular reason why I stopped attending church; there are to be honest, several factors. The main factor being my move to Dubai. I wasn’t sure if there were any ‘decent’ churches to attend here, before I moved over so never really bothered to look. I did attend a service once but I just couldn’t familiarise myself with their style of worship etc.

There are some days when I do long to go back to church but then other times, I think about some of the hurt and hardships that people close to me and also in some respects myself, have endured and received at the hand of the ‘church.’

Going to church every Sunday was a habitual act and really was the foundation of my upbringing and childhood. I enjoyed belonging to a community of god-fearing, beautiful and in most respects like minded individuals. I loved the events that we had, the fellowship, the singing/dancing…it was all wonderful!

Now I am by no means knocking the church but there were flaws…like most things I suppose.

When I left my church, I felt lost. My expectations of what ‘church’ should be had been so wired, that I really found it difficult to feel like I belonged to anywhere else! It is a shame, as I feel guilty at times for not giving my daughter the same experience that I once had. Who knows, maybe one day I will find another church that I feel ‘comfortable’ in or perhaps I need to rewire my thinking???

Either way, my belief and love in God remains at the root of my morals, ethics, values and the foundation for the way I strive to live my life.

For I do believe – that I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me! 🧡🙌🏾

Yes I AM arrogant…

…if that’s how you view having a healthy sense of self!

Recently, I was engaged in a conversation about the stark differences between arrogance and confidence!

I honestly believe that in order to be productive, content and fulfilled human beings; it’s imperative to have CONFIDENCE! Not necessarily confidence to speak to an auditorium full of people but confidence in yourself!

I’ve spoken on the topic of self love before and being confident in yourself, is at the foundation of this!

But why is it that society continuously sends the message to even children, that you shouldn’t be too confident! Why is it that systems such as the education system subliminally teach our children to lack confidence?

I work in the education system and I have seen it first hand! As a teacher, in my daily practice I always encourage my students to be inquisitive; it’s okay to ask questions! Discussions and debates are HEALTHY and a natural part of life!

As a parent, I have to CONSTANTLY remind my daughter about being confident!

“Do not allow anybody to dim your light!”

Walk in your uniqueness, confidence and YOUNESS! Only you can be you and nobody can do YOU better than YOU!

One of the ways I do this is through self -declarations. I have taught my daughter that there is power in words and she must remind herself daily, how beautiful, clever, confident etc she is!

As adults, we too need to do this! Look in the mirror daily and tell yourself how amazing you are! Don’t crouch over when walking but throw your shoulders back, head high and STRUT!

Honestly, for every time someone tries to cast me down with their negativity, it gives me an extra spring in my step!

There is no bigger act of revenge than knowing, demonstrating and reinforcing your amazingness! They WILL HATE you for not cowering!

Dr Maya Angelou wrote this in the most eloquent and powerful way. I suggest you have a read of “Still I Rise.”

From the clever, amazing, inspirational, driven and beautiful Kym!

YES I AM ARROGANT!

xxx

A juggling act!

Hey lovelies,

Hope you’ve all had a good week. To sum up my last few weeks…I have felt like I’m in a circus act! Going back to full time teaching with two children has been a whole new phenomenon for me.

Did I stick to my routines these last few weeks! Hell NO! Most the time, I feel absolutely exhausted and have no energy to cook, clean but just enough to play. Having spoken to my friend who also is a teacher and has a baby, it is a shared state of existence!

As you can see from the last blog post date I have been swamped! Sometimes I think about giving it up (blogging) but now and then I receive a lovely message from a reader commenting on one of my experiences. It makes it all worthwhile!

Can I just be honest for a moment and say that I am struggling to practice what I preach though. What I mean by that is, I’ve neglected my own self care!

It can be so hard when you’re exhausted and just ridiculously busy to “factor in” me time. The error that I’ve made with this approach is that ‘me time’ should be as natural as brushing my teeth or having dinner.

Why is it that we view looking after ourselves as a chore or additional task?

I would never neglect my children or husband so why should it be acceptable for me to neglect myself?!

It is not a necessity to always do elaborate things and sometimes self care can be as simple as making a cup of tea and leaving the dishes until later! It’s something that I really have to adjust my mindset to.

Truly what use am I as a mother, wife, friend or teacher…if I don’t care for me!

I would love to start some kind of self care community; like-minded people who want to make each other accountable for their own wellbeing.

Not sure if that’s something you’d be interested in but if you are then please reach out to me! I really would love to hear from you!! 🧡

Kym x

Back to work woes and joy!

So I’m back to work now and although I’m gutted to be leaving my babies (during the day), I am excited to be back to busy!

I’ve always had a thing about wanting to be engaged in something and as much as my two babies keep me actively busy that’s not the kind of busy I mean. I want my own busy…am I even making sense!?

It’s so important, as parents that we find our own projects or things to engage with! Let’s face it before we were married and with kids, we were just us and it’s important not to lose that! I make a conscious effort not to lose my identity within the context of the variety of roles that I hold.

This year in particular, I am making it a personal goal to get out more! I don’t mean wild legless nights but making more public appearances! Having been pregnant last year, I felt trapped in the house! I just can’t cope with cabin fever…can you?

I want to meet old and new people. Go for drinks, go for a coffee, go to my friends house for a chinwag, read a book on the beach on my own etc.

There is ABSOLUTELY NO GUILT in wanting to do these things and doing these things! I don’t want to regret not living my life to the best potential that I could!

So watch out as Kym is going to be out out! 😜

Kym x

HELP…How do I make friends?

Hey lovelies!

Firstly, a massive thank you to everyone who has been reading my blogs and watching our family vlogs; it means the world to me!

Secondly, I’ve always likened myself as the sociable, approachable one but recently I’ve felt that people just don’t like me!

Now I know, we really shouldn’t care about what others think and I may be acting like a school child but it genuinely disheartens me. Am I really that bad?

I’ve learnt from my modelling experience that networking is key and it is something that I actually enjoy doing ALOT! I honestly get SO excited when I meet new people and we get chatting. But since I moved over here, my networking bug has slowed down drastically!

Don’t get me wrong, I have made some good friends but do feel that I want to extend my ‘village’ a little further…

My biggest challenge is reaching out to my followers and people in general on social media. Many people have varying opinions about social media but it really can be a great tool if used correctly. I recently asked on a poll about whether or not genuine friendships can be formed from social media. The majority answered yes but HOW? How do I go about making genuine friendships?

I also really want to form friendships with individuals from all different cultures. Let me reiterate, I already have some AMAZING and valuable friendships but simply have the desire to extend my reach further.

But anyways…right now I feel that I am ranting and also failing miserably in the making new friends department! Haha! So please do enlighten me! How do you make friends? Are there any top tips that you could share?

Please do comment and let’s start a conversation!

Much love

Kym x

“We’ve missed our flight!”

Hey lovelies!

So as you’ll know we’ve arrived back to our home in the UAE, in one piece (well almost).

I can’t recall many occasions where everything just seems to be working against me but Thursday 8th August was definitely one of those occasions! I think I’ve shared this sentiment before but I truly believe that everything happens for a reason…it’s just this reason I’m still trying to figure out!

So where do I start…well firstly NEVER EVER pack your 6 suitcases the night before! Why did we have 6 suitcases you may ask? The truth is I wanted to stock up on the bits and bobs that are too expensive here or we just can’t get! Those items including all the gifts and clothes that the children accumulated during our time in London, resulted in the 6 suitcases as fore mentioned. You can imagine or maybe you can’t, what it felt like running on only 3 hours sleep. Admittedly, we did leave out late in the morning but all things considered, I felt that we got to the airport in good timing. We flew with Emirates on this occasion, as they are very generous with their baggage allowance. In total, we had 100kg to play with and in my head our total weight was no where near this…oh how wrong was I! The lady at the check in desk asked us to weigh each case one by one and as she continued to tag away, I felt that everything was ok. UNTIL, the bomb hit and after weighing all suitcases she explained that we were 33kg over! Curiously, I enquired as to the cost for the additional baggage and her calm response was £800+

Panic started to set in now and as we frantically tried to remove some weight, she annoyingly decided to mention that we had only 10 minutes until the check in closed. HOW? I didn’t even get a chance to take a picture of the carnage but there was stuff EVERYWHERE! In the end, we ended up leaving an entire suitcase behind of goodies! The drama had only just begun…we were instructed to go straight to the gate or else we would miss our flight. Thinking that the process of getting to the gate would be quick was hopeful. I think every single piece of our hand luggage except one got pulled up and searched. With the gate now closing in 20 minutes, pressure and stress levels were truly on an all time high! I decided to go ahead with Baby J, his pushchair and one hand luggage and sprinted to the gate. The only thing that I could verbalise and recite in my head is “we’ve missed our flight!” I need to work on being more positive…Thankfully, we managed to get there with just 10 minutes to spare!

Sitting on that flight that we almost missed, felt exhilarating until the realisation that we had left Jaxson’s spare milk in security dawned! I mean could it possibly get any worse??

That being said the actual flight was fine and J didn’t end up needing his extra milk as my mum had made up some baby food for him which he had on the plane. We arrived into Dubai airport at around 8pm and although absolutely exhausted from the 3 hours sleep and mayhem of the day, it felt good to be back in the sandpit. Our luggage arrived fairly quickly with none missing, which was also a massive relief! Well none except my tripod that my husband ended up leaving on the plane as we exited! Honestly guys and girls, I am NOT making this up.

My hubby (bless him) was in a frenzy and stormed off to lost and found in the hope that it would be handed in. They hadn’t yet cleaned our plane so we were told to send an email and that they would get back to us with an update. I wasn’t at all optimistic at this point and told my hubby that it is what it is. All I really wanted to do was get back to our villa and SLEEP!

Due to the large quantity of luggage that we possessed (8 pieces of luggage, J’s 2 piece pushchair, car seat, Baby walker and random bags) a normal 7 seater taxi would not take us from Dubai airport. We hadn’t preordered so ended up waiting around 20 minutes for a larger one!

Despite the absolute carnage of the day, the feeling of being back in our new home as a family is second to none! Something that I am very grateful for and excuses all the things that went wrong during the day!

We had a well deserved sleep that evening and a lovely first family meal in our new home. P.s. my tripod was found and will be collected soon.

Do you have any horror travel stories that you’d like to share?

Kym x