I’m a control freak!

Since giving birth to Jaxson, I’ve realised how automatic it is for me to take over and just ‘get on with it.’ A lot of it stems from being a single parent with Arianna and the coping mechanism that I adopted. Despite having an amazing family network, the day to day raising of Arianna fell solely on me. Sounds weird but I never had ‘to share’ Arianna, I had her ALL to myself!

Now married and a second side of the family to consider, I initially found it really difficult. My husband and I, have been so blessed to have my mother in law come and stay with us for four weeks and help look after J. It has been so lovely and also a learning curve for me. Even though J is in the safe hands of family, I still felt weird about handing him over at first. What would happen with his routine that I’d set up? Would she understand his cries? Will she know how to feed and burp him especially with the GERD?

YES OF COURSE SHE WILL KYM!


NO, IT WON’T BE EXACTLY THE WAY YOU DO IT AND THAT’S OK!


I have to say that I am much better now at allowing others to help me, including my husband. I’m now fine with the fact that he changes J’s nappy different to me and also takes much longer to wash him! Lol. My husband is understanding and accepts that this is something I’ll need to work through in my own time and my own way.

Any other single parents found the transition to married life difficult?

Kym x

Is your baby good?

Congratulations to the Duke and Duchess of Sussex on the birth of their beautiful baby boy, Archie! It seems to be a baby boom of boys this year!

Yesterday, I watched the BBC News interview with the new adoring parents and the journalist posed the question “Is he sleeping well? A good baby?” Now at two days old, I am not entirely sure how you’d be able to tell!?

However, this is something that I can share familiarity with, with the birth of my son. Aside from the mandatory “Congratulations” I almost always get asked “Is he a good baby, how is he at night? Sleeping through yet?” My answers roll off my tongue like empty rhetoric from the amount of times I have said them!

What exactly is a good baby? Why does society feel the need to already make judgements / standardise a child that is not even a year old! I too was getting caught up in the trap of standardising my son; daily I found myself on the week by week baby developments, obsessing over whether or not he had hit the suggested milestones. Truth be told, I soon snapped myself out of that habit and no longer check. Instead, I indulge in the surprise of my son doing something new every day and as long as he is happy and in good health that’s all that matters!

And so he doesn’t sleep through the night yet but who cares! He will in his own time, complete his own milestones and I am content with that!

There really is no such thing as a ‘good baby’ and we must all be particularly careful that we are not causing unnecessary pressure and guilt to parents, from our lack of sensitivity!

Sleep deprivation is a serious thing and if you feel like you need the support, then please reach out to me and I can point you in the right direction!

Kym x

Family Fridays!

If someone was to ask me what is the key to a happy and content life, my answer would have to be balance.

It is imperative that whatever roles you play in life, that you have a balance. Fridays are dedicated family days, in which I spend dedicated time solely with my family; my social engagement will reduce and each week we will vary the activities.

I will be sharing some of our adventures in the ‘Parent’s Corner‘ so stayed tuned!

Kym x

I feel like S***!!!

Did you know that maternal anxiety is nearly as prevalent as maternal depression?

Here I am at the age of 20, two months after giving birth to my daughter. Behind the smile, I was lonely, sad, anxious, frustrated and feeling low. BUT I never realised until now that these were all signs of maternal depression and anxiety.

I was determined as a young single mum to cope at all costs and never show weakness, as society’s stigma was already evident for me! This was at a big cost, as I masked my feelings and suffered in silence. There were nights I would regret ever having my daughter, times I considered myself unfit and would cry at the thought of not being able to take care of her sufficiently. If only, I had the reminder that it’s ok not to be ok, my experience of motherhood would have been so very different!

This time round, I am in a totally different place in my life…thriving in raising my almost 9 year old daughter, married to my best friend and living up life in the UAE. Yet, why did I still feel anxious about being a mum the second time round? I realise that ALOT of my anxiety was developed from my innate desire to succeed in all things. I wanted to be a BOSS at being a mum of two and wife and initially felt more like a college student on an Internship!

This week is Maternal Mental Health Week and I can’t express how important it is to speak out! I have been able to manage and cope with my anxiety better this time round by acknowledging my anxiety, recognising that it is normal and speaking about my feelings (something I REALLY struggled with in my younger years). There are so many amazing campaigns and organisations out there so no-one should feel isolated in their feelings. Please feel free to message me on any of my social media accounts, if you just want a listening ear!

Please do check out The Blue Dot Project and the amazing work that they are doing in addressing maternal mental health!

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Kym x

I don’t feel guilty…

Sometimes as parents you can get into a rigid routine, which often doesn’t allow the capacity for some ‘self care’ time. For some, ‘self care’ could be reading a book, watching a film, getting a massage or meeting up with friends.

For me personally, I just love to dance! Give me good music and some space and I’ll do my thing! But it saddens me to see that other mums/dads often feel guilty for letting their hair down.

Why?

I was engaged in a conversation last night about the myth

Once you have kids you life is over!

Forgive me but that’s a load of rubbish! Who says that as a mum of two, I can’t get dressed up, have a drink and enjoy myself!

After all a happy Mum and Dad = a happy child and healthy/positive relationships!

So I’m not sure what your plans are for the weekend but don’t feel guilty to slot in some ‘self-care’ time!

Kym x

A new lease of life!

It’s been a while since I lasted posted on here and my goodness is there SO much to update you all on! In truth, if any of you follow my social media you’ll already be aware that I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy this February! As expected, it’s taken me a little while to adjust to having two children, being a wife and also ‘finding’ myself again! I’m finally at a stage where I feel like I’ve got it together a bit, hence this recent post! Baby J is almost 3 months and being a mother of a newborn and an eight (going on 18 year old) has had me tired, stretched in a directions, moody, exhilarated, happy but also given me a new ounce of energy. Now I don’t mean physical energy more vibrations, positive ones! I feel empowered to go out of my comfort zone, set and achieve new goals and really just try and live my BEST BEST life!

So here goes it…

Hopefully you will stick around on this journey with me??

Also don’t forget to follow me on instagram, my new handle is themummarose.

Kym x

Unconventional and LOVING it!

It is now 2018 and firstly I would like to say a Happy and Prospeous New Year to all those who are reading this!

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Now there are several purposes to this blog post, the first being (like many of my others) to inspire family, friends, strangers and foes. Oh, I also need to apologise as I haven’t been as consistent with the blog writing, as I would have hoped!

My second purpose of this post is to demonstrate how stepping out of comfort zones and the norm can be so fulfilling and quite frankly fun!

Thirdly, this post will hopefully answer some of the unasked questions that we know both family and friends may have…

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So where do I begin: well for those who don’t know Daniel and I have known each other for almost 7 years now, of which during this time, a lot of our relationship was on and off like a light switch! Lol. In August 2017, myself and my daughter moved to the UAE, where I started a new job; subsequently, despite Dan and I not talking at the start of 2017, it ended up being our best ever year together! So advice point 1, not everything is instantaneous some things require a journey of maturity and development and I can certainly say, that was the case for our relationship. We spent a total of 12 weeks apart, which for some experienced long distance relationshipers may seem trivial but for us, it was major! Especially, as we had both realised that we were inseparable and despite the low points previously, did not want to do life without each other.

Advice point 2: communication. When I initially found out about the job, I shared everything with Dan and we spoke about the future and my decision to go etc. Dan understood that this was a lifelong dream for me but also it was about laying foundations for our family; I struggled with my decision as I didn’t want to mess up what we had but also didn’t want to turn the job down and live a life of regret and resentment. It was at this point that Dan started actively considering and making plans to leave the UK and move to the UAE with us! Now readers, if you know my husband you will understand that the love is real. My husband and his large family are very close and he isn’t as adventurous as me, so for him to say and action that he’s coming- sealed the deal!

Moving the story along, we had always discussed marriage and I would share with him my wish to be married before having any more children, as marriage and its meaning means a lot to me. *Disclosure* I am NOT pregnant yet! Lol. Initially, Dan didn’t share the same enthusiasm for marriage and didn’t see it as a priority like I did. It was in November, that in the midst of one of our regular skype video calls, we again stumbled upon the topic of marriage…it was different this time though, as Dan was more enthusiastic and open to the idea. We began to discuss when we’d get married, where we’d get married, amongst other things. Jointly, by the end of the Skype call, a decision was made that we would get married in London during my Christmas visit (18 days); we then later concluded that we wouldn’t have enough time or money to have the wedding we’d both want in December so decided that we’d have a ceremony, with our close family in a local registry office and then the full wedding in Summer 2018. Neither of us, felt that we wanted to wait to have everything in the summer: for legal reasons, moral reasons but more importantly, we just wanted to be husband and wife immediately. We were both truly and deeply ready to take the final step of commitment to one another.

Advice point 3: have faith. Both excited with the plans and decisions that we’d made, we started to enquire about the possibility of a registry office marriage during December in London. We hit a brick wall. With all the legalities, time frames and notice periods, a marriage in London was impossible; we even consulted the British Embassy in the UAE, who were unable to help us. It was at this point that I started to get really down but as usual, Dan kept reassuring me that it would all work out. I would like to thank my three RAK ladies (you know who you are) who implanted the seed of ‘Gretna Green.’ I was quite apprehensive about what my parents would think about a Gretna Green marriage but I put my fears to the side and we started the process (in the end they loved the idea). By the beginning of December, it was confirmed that we would be married on the 30th December 2017 at Gretna Green Registry office in Scotland.

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Now what was meant to be a basic intimate ceremony, turned out to be an intimate but unconventional wedding road trip! We travelled 7 hours by coach to Scotland on the 29th December, stayed in a beautiful castle overnight and on the 30th said our vows and were pronounced husband and wife! I missed a bit from the story, so will go back to the engagement…now in November we both obviously knew that we would be married by December, however because we were apart Dan couldn’t do a physical proposal (which was his desire). So yes, although I knew a proposal would happen in December, I didn’t know exactly when nor had I seen my stunningly beautiful engagement ring! I had however, purchased our wedding rings from Dubai at the beginning of December so we actually had those before the engagement ring.

So time frame: engaged on 24th December 2017 and married on the 30th December 2017. Although, I think for us both, we had been engaged in our souls through love and God’s grace for a while.

The actual wedding (part two) will take place this summer and planning a UK wedding from a different country is definitely something worthy of its own blog post (to follow). Our love story isn’t the norm but we have never tried to be that! What we can say, is our story is real and we have overcome a lot of hurdles, which has made our love for each other stronger every day.

We have been married now for one week and again will be doing long distance for another 2-3 weeks until Dan officially moves over. Believe me when I say true love approved and ordained by God really does win!

Love Mrs Kym Rose x

I think I’m healthy…

Today was definitely one of those “this is so strange yet interesting” experiences, one of many I’m sure to experience in a new culture.  In order to become a fully fledge resident of the United Arab Emirates, all expat adults have to undergo a thorough medical check.  Whilst in the process of arranging my new classroom, I was quickly whisked away into a school bus that took 15 of us to a location not far from school.  When we arrived at the medical centre, the ladies were shown to a “Ladies only waiting room” (something you soon become accustomed too).  We were directed by our ever so friendly bus driver, who I have to commend for his logistical rigour…

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The first room was for the biometrics and I really hadn’t realised how many different prints existed on my hand!  We were asked to take a photograph, of which I was told not to smile, after my first take.  Our driver then showed us to another smaller room, where each of us were interviewed for about 2 minutes; I was asked if I’m married (hopefully soon and very soon).  The herd of expatriate sheep were then herded to the bloods room for a blood test. Hats off to the ladies there who get through people very quickly and with minimal pain!  Having had a pint of blood taken (hyperbole at its finest) we were then taken to an x-ray room for our chest scan.  Again, the ladies only waiting area was about the size of a shoe box and we were directed to remove our blouses and bras and to fashion an appealing x-ray gown.

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“Deep breath in and hold madam”

Back to the shoe box to change and then out into the sweltering corridors to join the rest of my group.  All in all, I have never seen a medical screening happen so efficiently and in such detail. Like I said it was a strange yet interesting experience but I am excited to know that my Emirates ID should shortly be on its way!

P.s. Good news is the children don’t have to do a medical, as they would need an army to get Ri’s bloods!!

Kym & Arianna

 

Our UAE adventure

We have arrived safely in the UAE, as you’ve probably seen.  This is such an exciting adventure and journey for myself and Arianna, which we so want to share with those who take the time to read.  We hope that from our adventure you will feel empowered, inspired, encouraged and determined to seek out and fulfil your own dreams and ambitions.img_6369

Please feel free to leave your comments, questions and of course share with all!

 Kym & Arianna

and welcome to the beginning!

It’s our 5th day in Ras Al Khaimah, although time and days all seem to be blended at the moment! It feels like we have been here much longer!

We arrived early hours on Sunday morning having experienced great hospitality and a lovely flight from Emirates airline. The immigration and baggage collection went smoothly and the air conditioning disguised the scorching 42 degree heat outside. As we arrived in the arrivals hall, we were pleasantly greeted by members from my new school; they immediately took us to set up our UAE number at one of the local Etisalat stands. It’s at this point that the realisation of migrating to a new country and setting up from scratch truly kicked it! New number, emirates card, residency visa…wait a minute this isn’t a temporary holiday but a permanent move! Emirates polaroid

We were taken to our new apartment which was huge! Immediately, Arianna began unpacking her toys and making herself at home. We are privileged enough or for me tempted by one of the many malls, across the road from our building. After an hour or so, we were collected by a lovely couple (from the school) who took us over to buy some essentials bits and bobs and an unofficial meet up. It didn’t take long before the “Mummy I’m bored” ran through my ears; luckily for me the UAE malls are packed with endless amounts of entertainment for children! We managed to navigate our way around the supermarket aisles, recognising many brands and purchasing ingredients for a first meal. P.s. My cooker and fridge are huge!

Later that evening, a very tired mummy and daughter fell asleep whilst waiting for our amazing family who had flown in the night before, to arrive into RAK. I am very thankful for the powerful AC in my apartment which stopped us from melting! After the arrival of my family at 9.30pm we decided to have a late night shopping/ eating session in RAK mall (closes at midnight) to purchase more bits for the apartment. MATALAN! The runs across the road by now were becoming familiar; the driving and road etiquette is very different from the UK…

By day 2, our TV and WIFI had been ordered and awaiting delivery/installation. THANK GOD! I hadn’t realised how much we relied on internet and how alien it is living without it! I suppose with all of this, setting up from scratch was a bigger task than I expected!

However, 5 days in and our house is looking a lot more like home! We have visited the area of Al Hamra (which is very plush) and have our first excursion booked for this weekend. I’ve had 2 days in school, going through some logistics, however after the Eid holiday our first full week of induction will begin.

img_6376img_6365Arianna and I have already made some lovely friends and the entire newbie crew and welcoming committee have been fab!

Signing out for now lovelies but will have my next blog post up very soon!

Kym & Arianna xx

 

 

p.s. This evening we found a bat on my balcony, evidence below…

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