Stella’s got her groove back!

Recently, I read an Instagram post from the beauty that is Maya Jama and it felt like she literally took the words from my mouth!

In a nutshell, she spoke about the perception of ‘beauty’ and touched upon something I experienced only a few days ago…

How many of you have got to the point where your hair, nails or something else needs redoing and it has a MASSIVE impact on your self confidence and mood? I mean you just feel ugly and not standard ugly but U-G-L-Y. Well this happens to me every time! No matter how much makeup I put on, or how dressed up I get, if my hair is not done then sometimes I even refuse to go out!

Now I don’t know if this is a ‘thing’ but I really have had to teach myself (with the support from close family and friends) that looks are not everything. Having once been a model, I do try and keep up appearances but the reality of being a working mummy of two means it doesn’t always happen, to the standard I’d like! Lol!

I can’t afford to get the latest skincare phenomenon or get weekly facials etc, so I just have to make do with what I have but more importantly accept that beauty isn’t just about appearance. You can be a beautiful but ugly person!

I really want my daughter in particular to understand that no one should define her by her looks but more her aura, confidence, intelligence, influence etc

Your looks really DON’T define who you are!

“I want a divorce!”

As you all know I keep things very real and honest in my blogs and the statement above is actually something that came out of my mouth once!

My husband and I had been married for only a year when our beautiful baby boy came along and WOAH did his arrival rock our foundations! With the 8 year gap between my first and second, I really had forgotten how wild and uncontrollable your hormones and emotions are during, after and AFTER AFTER pregnancy!

The morning after delivery!

I really didn’t mean to but during my third trimester and immediately after giving birth, I just couldn’t stand the sight of my husband! The poor man would have an ear full daily! Now hubby, is a man of not too many words, so arguments were always one sided and that pissed me off even more! Lol. In all seriousness, we really had to work hard not to kill each other and especially with the very serious condition of sleep deprivation! Truly, you never really know the effects of it until you experience it. Luckily, there is a lot of useful information and support out there on how to cope.

What really helped us, was to talk! We had to be honest with each other about how we felt and hardest for me, allow hubby to be involved and not control everything (my single parent hang ups)! Safe to say, we are so much better now and I love my best friend more than ever! Divorce is NOT on the cards!

As you will all know, marriage isn’t static and constantly needs effort from both sides. When it comes to being a married couple with children, that level of effort has to be on MAX! I’m not a marriage counsellor but I would really advice that you factor in ‘alone time’. It could be a date night, a walk to your local shop or just some time in the evening when you both sit, talk and LAUGH with each other; it is SO IMPORTANT!

Finally, let’s talk about sex! 😈 Research shows that many women experience a decline in their libido during and after pregnancy! If this is you, you are not alone! There are some things that you could try to get those hormones ‘riding’ again:

  1. Exercise some self-care! There is nothing sexy about hairy underarms and legs!
  2. Set the ambience. Have a friend or relative look after the kids. Purchase some lovely smelling candles from Bath and Body works…
  3. LIN-GE-RIE ladies…need I say more?
  4. Send random messages of endearment or other…
  5. Change of scene! There’s just something special about fresh hotel sheets that are neither poo or vomit stained!

If you have any other fail proof tips then please do share! 😁

Kym x

Birthday activities galore!

As mentioned in my previous blog, my husband really did spoil me rotten this birthday weekend! From staying in the beautiful Roda Hotel, to being haunted by clowns…I literally did it all this weekend!

So where do I begin?

Initially, hubby had mentioned doing an ‘escape room’ activity and I approved based on my previous experience. For my hen do, I participated in a WW2 themed escape room experience in London, which was a lot of fun. Naturally, the thought of doing another one was very appealing. Hubby did mention that this one was scary but never did I imagine to what extent!

We took the 15 minute drive from our hotel, to another part of Dubai and was greeted by literally a horror themed escape room! Even from just standing outside, fear overtook my body! It really took some serious guts for me to even go in there and it only got WORSE! The sinister voice over the tannoy system and pitch black atmosphere was enough to make me pee my pants (and no not due to my pelvic floor). Deep Dark Dubai, hats off to you; I honestly believed that I was in a horror film and was ready to go home! It took the guilty look of my husband, encouraging words from the owner and very strict instructions from myself to tone down the scary, for me to succumb to the idea. But I did eventually go in and I wasn’t disappointed! The concept was really good, the puzzles were not too hard and the extra scary bits and bobs had me both screaming and jumping down flights of stairs! Safe to say I was so VERY GLAD when we escaped! Hubby wants to go back to “Beat the Clown” I’m not too sure about that one TBH! Maybe I will one day…A bonus is they currently have an offer on GroupOn too (thank me later)!

I survived it to tell the tale…Now onto our second day of adventure and we went flying!

I had recently put out a poll on my Instagram and the majority voted for me to do indoor skydiving and that’s what we did (well kinda)! A slightly less horrifying experience but equally a massive adrenaline rush! The staff were extremely patient and friendly despite us rebooking our slot about 10 times (life with kids!).

The centre was massive! We were pleasantly surprised when we arrived, to find that we were the only guests there. After sitting through a safety video and being geared up, we embarked on our journey to the wind chamber! Now I really didn’t know what to expect and as always offered for the husband to go first (safety test). We both had two minutes each in the chamber; it sounds short but felt like a lifetime, when we were actually in it! I also have to shout out our instructor Arthur, he was really lovely and helpful during the experience.

The chamber…well what a thing! My initial reaction on my first go was to start hyperventilating, as I couldn’t quite figure out how to breathe with wind that strong blowing in my face! I cant really say in figures how strong the wind was but I think the pictures will reveal all…

It really was so much fun and although we weren’t aware that you had to bring a USB stick to capture the raw files, we were very thankful for the DVD of the experience with additional images added complimentary! I think we will definitely be returning for another fly experience at InFlight Dubai! AGAIN, they have an offer on GroupOn (thank me later)!

Tag me in your posts and pictures if you decide to visit any of these places and I would love to hear what you thought too!

Kym x

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It’s my birthday!

Apologies that this is a tad bit late but I really was way too busy enjoying myself! I don’t know about you but I really am a ‘birthday’ person and pull out all the stops for others!

This year I had the stops pulled out for me!! Recently, I’ve been moaning and groaning to my husband that I don’t feel appreciated and “you just don’t understand how much I do!”

Man did he make me eat my words! Lol.

It wasn’t just the amazing gifts I received this year but the level of effort and organisation he put into the activities I did over the weekend! I mean…I even got a CARD!

Now being a mother of two, I’ve realised more than ever how important it is for both husband and wife to feel valued and appreciated! You can so easily get wrapped up in being “mummy” and “daddy” and forget to be “husband” and “wife” which are two different things!!

If money is tight (trust me I’ve been there), why not try a cost free AOA (Act of appreciation) like send an unexpected message of endearment, cook a meal, dedicate an evening to watch some films and perhaps indulge in an alcoholic beverage or two… Foot and whole body massage; my personal favourites!

Remember whether you’re married or not you are in a partnership and it’s so important that you take care of each other.

I also want to acknowledge my beautiful and amazing sister friends, who made it extra special. When you make the decision to be an expat, you leave everything behind! Having a network of amazing friends is so very important!

Check out my next few blogs for reviews of each of the activities I completed this weekend!

Kym x

I’m a control freak!

Since giving birth to Jaxson, I’ve realised how automatic it is for me to take over and just ‘get on with it.’ A lot of it stems from being a single parent with Arianna and the coping mechanism that I adopted. Despite having an amazing family network, the day to day raising of Arianna fell solely on me. Sounds weird but I never had ‘to share’ Arianna, I had her ALL to myself!

Now married and a second side of the family to consider, I initially found it really difficult. My husband and I, have been so blessed to have my mother in law come and stay with us for four weeks and help look after J. It has been so lovely and also a learning curve for me. Even though J is in the safe hands of family, I still felt weird about handing him over at first. What would happen with his routine that I’d set up? Would she understand his cries? Will she know how to feed and burp him especially with the GERD?

YES OF COURSE SHE WILL KYM!


NO, IT WON’T BE EXACTLY THE WAY YOU DO IT AND THAT’S OK!


I have to say that I am much better now at allowing others to help me, including my husband. I’m now fine with the fact that he changes J’s nappy different to me and also takes much longer to wash him! Lol. My husband is understanding and accepts that this is something I’ll need to work through in my own time and my own way.

Any other single parents found the transition to married life difficult?

Kym x

Is your baby good?

Congratulations to the Duke and Duchess of Sussex on the birth of their beautiful baby boy, Archie! It seems to be a baby boom of boys this year!

Yesterday, I watched the BBC News interview with the new adoring parents and the journalist posed the question “Is he sleeping well? A good baby?” Now at two days old, I am not entirely sure how you’d be able to tell!?

However, this is something that I can share familiarity with, with the birth of my son. Aside from the mandatory “Congratulations” I almost always get asked “Is he a good baby, how is he at night? Sleeping through yet?” My answers roll off my tongue like empty rhetoric from the amount of times I have said them!

What exactly is a good baby? Why does society feel the need to already make judgements / standardise a child that is not even a year old! I too was getting caught up in the trap of standardising my son; daily I found myself on the week by week baby developments, obsessing over whether or not he had hit the suggested milestones. Truth be told, I soon snapped myself out of that habit and no longer check. Instead, I indulge in the surprise of my son doing something new every day and as long as he is happy and in good health that’s all that matters!

And so he doesn’t sleep through the night yet but who cares! He will in his own time, complete his own milestones and I am content with that!

There really is no such thing as a ‘good baby’ and we must all be particularly careful that we are not causing unnecessary pressure and guilt to parents, from our lack of sensitivity!

Sleep deprivation is a serious thing and if you feel like you need the support, then please reach out to me and I can point you in the right direction!

Kym x

Family Fridays!

If someone was to ask me what is the key to a happy and content life, my answer would have to be balance.

It is imperative that whatever roles you play in life, that you have a balance. Fridays are dedicated family days, in which I spend dedicated time solely with my family; my social engagement will reduce and each week we will vary the activities.

I will be sharing some of our adventures in the ‘Parent’s Corner‘ so stayed tuned!

Kym x

I feel like S***!!!

Did you know that maternal anxiety is nearly as prevalent as maternal depression?

Here I am at the age of 20, two months after giving birth to my daughter. Behind the smile, I was lonely, sad, anxious, frustrated and feeling low. BUT I never realised until now that these were all signs of maternal depression and anxiety.

I was determined as a young single mum to cope at all costs and never show weakness, as society’s stigma was already evident for me! This was at a big cost, as I masked my feelings and suffered in silence. There were nights I would regret ever having my daughter, times I considered myself unfit and would cry at the thought of not being able to take care of her sufficiently. If only, I had the reminder that it’s ok not to be ok, my experience of motherhood would have been so very different!

This time round, I am in a totally different place in my life…thriving in raising my almost 9 year old daughter, married to my best friend and living up life in the UAE. Yet, why did I still feel anxious about being a mum the second time round? I realise that ALOT of my anxiety was developed from my innate desire to succeed in all things. I wanted to be a BOSS at being a mum of two and wife and initially felt more like a college student on an Internship!

This week is Maternal Mental Health Week and I can’t express how important it is to speak out! I have been able to manage and cope with my anxiety better this time round by acknowledging my anxiety, recognising that it is normal and speaking about my feelings (something I REALLY struggled with in my younger years). There are so many amazing campaigns and organisations out there so no-one should feel isolated in their feelings. Please feel free to message me on any of my social media accounts, if you just want a listening ear!

Please do check out The Blue Dot Project and the amazing work that they are doing in addressing maternal mental health!

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Kym x

I don’t feel guilty…

Sometimes as parents you can get into a rigid routine, which often doesn’t allow the capacity for some ‘self care’ time. For some, ‘self care’ could be reading a book, watching a film, getting a massage or meeting up with friends.

For me personally, I just love to dance! Give me good music and some space and I’ll do my thing! But it saddens me to see that other mums/dads often feel guilty for letting their hair down.

Why?

I was engaged in a conversation last night about the myth

Once you have kids you life is over!

Forgive me but that’s a load of rubbish! Who says that as a mum of two, I can’t get dressed up, have a drink and enjoy myself!

After all a happy Mum and Dad = a happy child and healthy/positive relationships!

So I’m not sure what your plans are for the weekend but don’t feel guilty to slot in some ‘self-care’ time!

Kym x

A new lease of life!

It’s been a while since I lasted posted on here and my goodness is there SO much to update you all on! In truth, if any of you follow my social media you’ll already be aware that I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy this February! As expected, it’s taken me a little while to adjust to having two children, being a wife and also ‘finding’ myself again! I’m finally at a stage where I feel like I’ve got it together a bit, hence this recent post! Baby J is almost 3 months and being a mother of a newborn and an eight (going on 18 year old) has had me tired, stretched in a directions, moody, exhilarated, happy but also given me a new ounce of energy. Now I don’t mean physical energy more vibrations, positive ones! I feel empowered to go out of my comfort zone, set and achieve new goals and really just try and live my BEST BEST life!

So here goes it…

Hopefully you will stick around on this journey with me??

Also don’t forget to follow me on instagram, my new handle is themummarose.

Kym x